|
1. |
|
|
|
|
the forest of sumac were palm trees to me
and the poplar and birch
were the lorien trees
wild catnip and peppermint and roadside chicory flourished
while the trillium hid in the depths of the woods
we ate clover and leeks
and drank chamomile tea
from the bounty of weeds in the yard
we ate black raspberries and sugared rhubarb
the wild grapes stained our fingers and teeth
we picked queen annes lace
but dandelions and milkweed soiled our hands
and then dispersed in white bursts
in the st. lawrence summer breeze
|
|
2. |
|
|
|
|
i met a girl when i was young
she wore the same smile
we did the same stupid things
i met a girl and fell in love
we ran away from all the bad noises of youth
now i've got you
and we've got the future
to look forward to again
|
|
3. |
|
|
|
|
i'm not out to save the world,
and i won't try to sway the herd
i can appreciate foregone conclusions
but i keep my fingers in the dirt
here i'm not trying to pull the weeds
and i'm not sowing what i reap
i keep my head below the trestle in the shadow with the seeds
and here i shed the husk of sorrow
there i shed the husk of shame
below i bare the wilted barren marrow
of the dirt from whence we came
i have abbreviated roots
and i stick solely to the facts
although the truth is unforgiving
and i find it harder to relax
if i interpreted your dreams
i'd lend them all to my opinions
in the end it's what you believe
that truly limits the world you're living in
and here i shed the husk of anger
there i shed the husk of blame
below i bare the wilted barren marrow
of the dirt from whence we came
|
|
4. |
|
|
|
|
although we never discovered the cause of the fire
we forgot once the grass had regrown
or those three weeks when winter en-sheathed us in ice
so the pipes and the roads all froze closed
as our solitude cradled us there like a vice
all we wanted was somewhere to go
but in the field where my brother discovered the bees
under canopy saplings caught up in the breeze
was the greatest expanse y eyes had ever seen
and a longing to someday be free
but through the cracks in the floor i have scrambled before
at the relentless draw of the unknown
my friend theodore ran, but he always came home
he knew something that i didn't know
though separation grows subtle it never abates
i'll write an ode to the things i've disowned
|
|
5. |
|
|
|
|
the patients are sleeping and it's raining outside
as my feet walk me home at the end of my night
and the nurses are working
until the end of our lives
they say the patients can't sleep if we're worried they'll die
and the buffers are waxing the feet from the tiles
and the doors are all locked from the inside
|
|
6. |
|
|
|
|
when the sunset was smeared by the pattern of rain
when the end of the storm was the end of the day
when the respite we sought was the berth of the grave
and the rainbow above us was fading to dusk
then the stars peeking out through the darkening grey
were the first signs of life in the dying decay
oh my darling will you wait up with me tonight
the sky is full of fairytales and we're both full of life
oh my darling don't burn out before you shine
i swear the best is yet head of us
now that we've shared these bitter times
i know my darling all that you have suffered through
but in the future we will celebrate our days
and sleep together blissfully
|
|
7. |
|
|
|
|
my love is more beautiful to me
every day i wake up
and how you held me in when no other wall
could hold me
you consoled me
and you are everything to which any need
could ever drive me
love, everything you do amazes me
how you execute your mesmerizing feats
so modestly
how you knit the world with your fingertips and love
and how you drew the lives we're living now
in your mind
my only love, i'm overwhelmed with joy
everytime i think of you and me
|
|
8. |
|
|
|
|
it was a long day
but the sunlight
helped me forget about
what i was mad about
on the way home
|
|
9. |
|
|
|
|
10. |
|
|
|
|
when we were young and lifes secrets seemed new
we couldn't wait to grow up and take over the world
and as we grew up
we never looked back
we were still young and the sky was still blue
we still felt invincible then
then we got old
(when we were young
and our imaginations could still hold the things
we wanted to be when we got old)
tell me what have we got to look forward to
as age has left us tired and weak
and life has left us lackluster
disinterested in things we did and loved
when we were young
|
|
11. |
|
|
|
|
no more sleep no more dreams no more light
no more silence or sound
no more darkness or sight
no more empty no full or half full
no more sickness or pain
no more orgasms
no more birth no more death no more space and
nothing is something
so no more nothing at all
|
|
12. |
|
|
|
|
i find my comfort in the silence between neurotic elipses
the cauterized conscious of non-sequential events
and the apparent implications of their inferred significance
i find my solace in the pauses between improvised dialogues
when i'm not waiting to interpret how they chose to respond
or worrying my words might be inverted and inadvertently do harm
i find catastrophe in conversation long after the other party has gone
in their reactions, in their expressions and in the double entendres
and in the fancied excuses i've made for them to withdraw
and my mind races in the spaces where there is room for interpretation
projects the harshest extrapolations from a linear sequence of events
when now is just an isolated occurrence of a thing spontaneously happening
|
|
13. |
|
|
|
|
my medicine helps me sleep soundly at night
but i can't drag myself out of bed
and in the medicine i feel the crazy sometimes
but it keeps it contained in my head
and the medicine lets me get angry inside
but it won't let me do what i want to, or say what i want to do
and the medicine makes me feel flat and obtuse
i feel useless and clumsy and awkward and awfully sad for a bit
but the medicine spares me from feeling much of anything
for very long
|
|
14. |
|
|
|
|
my cocoon has unraveled yet still clings to my limbs
like the shadows in my mothers womb
and i'm glued to my bed, from the bed to the wall
to the ceiling of my empty room
and the voices that creep through the floor to my ears
are the voices that my parents used
when i was young and confused half asleep in my youth
and afraid that the truth would elude
so now the faces around me have blinded their eyes
to the depths that i've sunken to
they still stumble in circles
in search of some proof of the faith that they're still clinging to
|
|
15. |
|
|
|
|
govern not with your mind lest your greed overcome your resolve
govern not with your heart lest your love blind your eyes to their faults
govern not with your lusts lest you learn they're unmanageable
govern only yourself and the rest will all fall into place
and if your sight will distract, then dampen your eyes
if your hands will betray you, then tie them behind you
if your feet won't oblige you, then sit while you think
and your mind won't become you if you poison your brain
your body will fail you if you never abstain
and in the end it will kill you, but we all end that way
and your lungs won't refresh you if you steep them in smoke
your flesh will detest you crawling under your skin
your intestines infected will take nothing in
and your heart it will fail you as your arteries close
the elements assail you as you're chilled to the bone
but your will will prevail and your conscience will know
there was never an enemy
there was really only ever ourselves
that we wanted to be
that we'd been longing to be free of
|
